Cyberwar? A 3AM-twitterrant

cyberwarFunny how this works. Any alleged Russian hacking is bad but the CIA hacking Russia is great. Russia and the USA have very little qualms with bombing hospitals. If I was in the business of cyberwar, hospitals would be my first target. Fortunately I am not in the business of doing any war because I have ethics and I’m a pacifist. But for the sake gauging the odds… Let’s have a little thought-experiment and let’s pretend I am OK with targetting hospitals.

The USA is currently experiencing an epidemic of hospitals being targetted by non-state hackers. Hospitals are paying ransomware assholes. Why are American hospitals victims of ransomware? Because they still are running on Windows XP. An OS from 2001. The lastest major update for Windows XP was service pack III which was released in 2008. Back then internet really was new in Russia. “In 2009, internet penetration had reached 35%” (Wikipedia.) So it’s pretty safe to say that Russia has no hospitals running XP.

Last month the Kremlin vowed to ditch all things Microsoft. That means we now have no idea WTF they are using.

The idea behind cyberwar and DDoS’ing are the same. It is meant to cripple infrastructure. A website or a hospital, it does not matter. In full fledged cyberwar, thats just the same difference.

On the one hand we have a nation state that is highly reliant on outdated software and on the other hand we have a nation that is not. Because Russia is late to the game it has the latest and greatest software. America? Ha! It is riddled with all kinds of obsolete crap. In the Netherlands we call this shit de wet van de remmende voorsprong. An advantage that you get so comfortable with that it slows you down.

If the USA really engages in active cyberwarfare, it will have hell to pay. It will have their hospitals disrupted, their banking disrupted. It will even have their god-damned traffic signs disrupted. (Which is what non-state hackers are already doing.)

And Russia? Russia will only shrug. They do not rely on internet connected voting machines. Their hospitals are not connected to internet. The country that hacked the world as Snowden proved insists that they will win an online arms-race. Which is bullshit. We have seen how stupid they are. John Podesta did not change his password when Wikileaks was publishing his emails. That is why John Podesta twitter account got “hacked” and his iPhone got wiped. Not because anyone did any hacking but because Wikileaks published his password. The worst part about the so-called cybersecurtiy at the DNC is that they instruct people not to read Wikileaks. They really believe that if you do not look at it, Wikileaks never happened. It was the same with collateral murder. If the USA had a sensible security policy (i.e find out what Wikileaks leaked) John Podesta’s twitter would not have been “hacked”.

But nooo! Stupid is as stupid does and that’s why we now have a high tech state threatening a low tech state with cyberwarfare. And the worst part is that the high tech state does not realize you can’t really harm a low tech state with cyberwar. If I do not have a router, you cannot hack me. That is the simple truth that America fails to grasp. To make a long story short, you cannot kick someone in the balls they do not have. Russia will be able to attack the USA with their own damn fridges that have gone rogue because the security of the internet of things (that should not be)  is non-existent and there is not much the USA can do about it except unplug their shit.

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